Let’s be honest…

And start from zero.

How do you rebuild your life when all your dreams lie shattered?

Lately, I have been taking Árbol in every possible direction.

Today, focusing on rentals.
Tomorrow, renovating Amatista.
Herbs.
Jesmonite.
Cycling.
Hiking.
Installing my action camera.
Creating drone footage.
Writing.

Every day, a new idea.

As if the next project would finally bring peace.

Today this.
Tomorrow something completely different.

Everyone had well-intentioned advice.

I tried to do everything at once.

New ideas.
A new website.
New plans.
New projects.

As if I could rebuild my life by simply working even harder.

Then came the idea of organising a retreat.

Another thing to add.
Another thing to work on.
Another thing to keep me busy.

I filled every empty space.

Don’t think, Ine.
Just keep going.

Because yes… that was something I knew how to do.

Through willpower.
Full speed ahead.

But the truth was…

I no longer really knew where I wanted to go.

I didn’t want people around me.

I was escaping.

Three weeks ago, I finally started writing my book.

Yes… finally.

Because it is something I have wanted to do for years.

But the moment was never right.

No time.
Where would I even start?
When would I find the time?

I already had no time.

But I started.

Without knowing what it would bring up.

Three weeks ago, on June 15th, I made a list of all the themes.

That list alone was twenty pages long.

And that was only the blueprint of the book.

Honestly?

It is confronting.

Because while writing, I realised that all this time I had been searching.

For peace.
For direction.
For myself.
For home.

And perhaps, for the first time, I understood that you cannot build a new life while you keep running away from what you feel.

I write for thirty minutes every day.

Sometimes a little longer.

But never more than an hour.

Not because I don’t want to write more, but because it brings up so much.

More than I expected.

So…

let’s start again.

Today.

With falling and getting back up.

Because not everything you see on Instagram is sunshine and roses.

Sometimes it is simply…

continuing.

Árbol is not a perfect story.

It is a story of falling.
Getting back up.
Searching.
Doubting.
And starting over again and again.

Maybe you recognise a little bit of yourself in that too.

Will you walk with me?